The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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