bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
