Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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