I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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