Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dick very happy bro
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
