One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
