I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
