Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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