My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
