Cold hands, warm shart.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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