I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we should paint friendship bongs
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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