Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home