hell yes lets make some ravioli
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!