I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant