I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
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I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.