Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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