filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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