Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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