I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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