cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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