Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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