Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
