doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
