just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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