Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
