I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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