Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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