I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
