Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I enjoy the company of your penis
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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