Moan for me like Helen Keller
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
