Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
