1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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