the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
