I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
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If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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