Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
