We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize