There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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