I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
