we're blogging at a bar
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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