I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
