He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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