actually, I'm a sock model
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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