I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize