That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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