Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
