the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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