We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
