This is not my ceiling
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
