I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize