i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
