Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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