I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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