the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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