he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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