Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh god the rape fog is back!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
