I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize