Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
