I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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