Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
