can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
