i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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