So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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