What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
