During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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