what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
