Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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